Finding faith?

Noshic's picture

What is the nature of saving faith? What if you end up in a situation opposite to the man in Mark the sense, you know God CAN, but you no longer believe that He WILL help you or save you?

What if despite having had what you thought was true faith, despite centering your life on God for years, all you get is silence within and without? You see your life falling apart in every possible way for no rhyme or reason - esp in areas where you completely trusted God to deliever you with a child-like faith. And on top of it there is no inner follow a check-list of dos and don'ts because it says so in the Bible - but there's no real fruit of the Spirit within - no joy, hope, love or peace...Atleast, even if it was there earlier - it has died.

So what conclusions do you draw from your experiences or the lack of those? That your faith is weak? Well, how does one produce a stronger faith?

I've been praying for faith and spiritual health for years...what more must I do to have proper faith? Doesn't faith flow from grace? So have I been denied that grace? After yrs of opposition, should I accept Calvinism to be true? That grace is extended only to a select few, and I don't happen to be one?

And if faith is a function of my will, then how do I go about willing it? In the last couple of months, I've strongly come to doubt that I have whatever it takes to have God's presence in my life. I look at my life now, and all I feel for God is fear - for bad as things are, I know He could make them even worse (in order to test me?). How can I fake a loving devotion to Him?

It's a very strange situation - I know my life is not worth a bean without God...yet I also know that He's not in my life and there's nothing I can do to bring Him into my life..desperate though I may be..Can one continue to believe that God is in his life year after year, in the absence of any internal or external corroboration of that?

Kay02's picture


WOW, I hear your heart baby, I come here and read messages but i felt your pain and i did not want to reply last week till you stated you have a child.
I stopped watching the news, and i do not listen to the radio station any more...I do not want to talk about people in a negative way. [THAT IS WHAT THEY DO THERE] I pray for children on a daily! i heard what others have said to you NOT all of them. I raised three daughters alone! wait, with the help of the Lord. That was hard for me but just right for God! I did not know the Lord like I do today. But i will tell you first i had to believe that HE is, I had to; I remember the transformation, I remember receiving the Holy Ghost so I would have HIS spirit! Every line of my LIFE you can see JESUS rather i knew HE was there or NOT. When i was lost He was there. I walked away from Him once for a short period in my life, I left HIM. HE never Left me! and HE will never forsake [take me some where and leave me to do it on my own] me. HE was there when I lost one of my children walked me through all of that. I felt HIM, heard HIM, and obey! The Holy Ghost taught me, HE was there when I went through Cancer and chemo, I believe HE is the GREAT I AM; What ever I need HE is! GOD DOES NOT DO THINGS TO PEOPLE, I feel you deep in my soul. I remember witnessing to a young man and he said i do not understand all of that and What IF we get to the end and this is not true and so much i have missed in life and i answered him with What if it is TRUE ??

i READ jOB WHEN i WAS taking chemo satan had his time with me It made me stronger but he was not allowed to kill me! I forgave everyone i could think of and did not think of I forgave my self for speaking negative words over my self! I forgave anyone who i might had thought said or looked at me in the wrong way! Jesus died on the cross for my sins and everyone else sin and sickness gave HIM self as a human scrifice ! I have to watch my WORDS because if i do or say it wrong then JESUS died in vain on the cross! But HE gave us all FREE WILL ! I gave all my HURT and pain to HIM< and left it there! [TOO BIG FOR ME] i ACKNOWLEDGE HIM IN ALL OF MY WAYS AND NEVER LEAN TO MY OWN UNDERSTANDING, i TRUST THE AND BELIEVE THAT HE WILL DIRECT MY PATH! i KNOW TO SEEK THE FATHER BEFORE I DO ANY THING! ANYTHING! I ASKED IF I COULD TALK TO YOU TODAY!!!