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                      "PROVERBS AND THE CHRISTIAN"

                      Wisdom In Selecting A Spouse

INTRODUCTION

1. The value of "The Book Of Proverbs" is that it provides wisdom from
   God to guide us in every realm of life

2. Whether it be family, business, social or spiritual relationships, we
   can find "inspired advice" that enables us to walk in wisdom,
   "redeeming the time, because the days are evil" - Ep 5:15-17

3. The purpose of this series is not to present an exhaustive study of
   the Proverbs, but to demonstrate in a few lessons its practicality in
   providing wisdom for the Christian today

[In this study, the first of three dealing with "family relationships",
we shall glean what wisdom we can from "The Book Of Proverbs" in regards
to selecting a spouse...]

I. ADVICE IN SELECTING A WIFE

   A. THE IMPORTANCE OF MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE...
      1. Much happiness in life depends upon make the right choice 
         - Pr 12:4
         a. A good choice greatly enhances the life of the husband
         b. But the wrong choice can destroy a man from the inside out!
      2. It is folly to think that a mistake in this area can be easily
         corrected
         a. Many think divorce can be an easy solution
         b. But God hates divorce (Mal 2:16), and remarriage may not 
            be a viable option for the disciple of Christ - Mt 19:8-9
         c. Even when it is, if there are children the selection you 
            made will ALWAYS be the mother of your children (for better
            or worse!)

   B. SOME GUIDELINES FOR FINDING A GOOD WIFE...
      1. Seek help from God - Pr 19:14
         a. Success in this "venture" may depend more upon God than we
            think!
         b. In view of the seriousness of this matter, dare we go about
            it alone?
      2. Do not place priority on "good looks" alone - Pr 31:30
         a. Beauty is skin-deep, temporary, and to which we can easily
            grow accustomed
         b. It is therefore a poor foundation upon which to build a 
            life-long relationship
         c. Sadly, most marriages are built on little more than physical
            attraction
      3. Instead, look for these characteristics in a woman:
         a. The fear of the Lord - Pr 31:30
            1) Such a woman possesses the beginning of wisdom - Pr 1:7
            2) Having a wife who is a devout Christian, then, should be
               a primary concern
         b. Discretion - Pr 11:22
            1) This is the ability to do the right thing at the right 
               time
            2) Without this, beauty is worthless, and can even be the 
               object of ridicule (e.g., "dumb blonde" jokes)
         c. Wisdom - Pr 14:1
            1) With this virtue in a woman, a good home can be built
            2) Without it, efforts by the husband will be undermined by
               the wife!
      4. To be avoided is the woman who is contentious (argumentative)!
         a. Picturesque descriptions of such a woman are found in
            Pr 19:13; 27:15-16
         b. My grandmother (a faithful Christian who as a widow raised
            six children through the Great Depression, and remained a
            widow for over fifty years), pointed out these two verses to
            me when I was a teen-ager:  Pr 21:9,19

[It is better to be single and alone, than to be married to the wrong
person.  To be married to a godly woman, however, is a wonderful
blessing from the Lord (Pr 18:22). With the help God gives us in "The
Book of Proverbs," we can increase the likelihood of finding a good
spouse.

The same is true for women seeking a good husband.  Much of what was
said earlier is applicable, but there is more we can glean from the
Proverbs...]

II. ADVICE IN SELECTING A HUSBAND

   A. THERE ARE WAYS TO LEARN A LOT ABOUT A MAN...
      1. How does he treat animals?  This reveals a lot about his
         character - cf. Pr 12:10
      2. Does he listen to the advice of others?  That will tell you
         whether he is a fool, or a wise person - Pr 12:15
      3. What type of company does he keep?  You might be destroyed 
         right along with him - Pr 13:20
      4. Is he quick-tempered?  That determines whether he is a person
         of understanding - Pr 14:29
      5. How does he make money?  You will suffer the consequences of 
         his business decisions - Pr 15:27
      6. Does he feel like he always has to put in his "two-cents" 
         worth?  If so, he lacks knowledge and a calm spirit - Pr 17:
         27-28
      7. Does he have compassion for the poor?  If so, his prayers will
         then be answered - Pr 21:13

   B. MEN TO AVOID...
      1. The womanizer (or flirter).  He will destroy himself and hurt
         all those involved - Pr 6:27-29
      2. A quick-tempered man.  You will become like him and destroy 
         yourself as well - Pr 22:24-25
      3. A drinker - cf. Pr 23:29-30

CONCLUSION

1. Some of the most important decisions we make in this life will be...
   a. With whom shall I spend my life?  (Divorce and remarriage is not 
      an option for the faithful Christian, with one exception - Mt
      19:9)
   b. Who shall be the father or mother of my children?  (This choice
      cannot be undone once the children are born)

2. Dare we make such decisions without consulting the wisdom found in
   the Word of God?
   a. This certainly does not exhaust all that "The Book of Proverbs"
      has to say about selecting a spouse
   b. But I trust that we are seeing that the Proverbs are extremely
      practical, worthy of our careful study and application to our
      lives

3. In the next lesson, we shall consider "gems" of wisdom in regards to
   BEING a good spouse...

Speaking of important decisions...have you made the most important
decision you will ever make in your life concerning Jesus Christ?
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