549Preface.
When I had now finished
the books of Spiritual Conferences, the merit of which consists in the
thoughts expressed rather than in the language used (since my rude
utterances were unequal to the deep thoughts of the saints), I had
contemplated and almost determined on taking refuge in silence (as I
was ashamed of having exposed my ignorance) that I might as far as
possible make up for my audacity in speaking by modestly holding my
tongue for the future. But you have overcome my determination and
purpose by your commendable earnestness and most urgent affection, my
dear Leo, my esteemed and highly regarded friend, ornament that you are
of the Roman Church and sacred ministry,23612361 as you drag me forth from the obscurity
of the silence on which I had determined, into a public court which I
may well dread, and oblige me to undertake new labours while I am still
blushing for my past ones. And though I was unequal to lesser tasks,
you compel me to match myself with greater ones. For even in those
trifling works, in which of our small ability we offered some small
offering to the Lord, I would never have attempted to do or apply
myself to anything unless I had been led to it by Episcopal command.
And so through you there has been an increase of importance both of our
subject and of our language. For whereas before we spoke, when bidden,
of the business of the Lord, you now require us to speak of the actual
Incarnation and glory of the Lord Himself. And so we who were formerly
brought as it were into the holy place of the temple by priestly hands,
now penetrate under your guidance and protection, so to speak, into the
holy of holies. Great is the honour but most perilous the
undertaking,23622362 because the
prize of the holy sanctuary and the divine reward can only be secured
by a victory over our foe. And so you require and charge us to raise
our feeble hands against a fresh heresy and a new enemy of the
faith,23632363 and that we
should take our stand, so to speak, against the awful open-mouthed
gapings of the deadly serpent, that at my summons the power of prophecy
and the divine force of the gospel word may destroy the dragon now
rising up with sinuous course against the Churches of God. I obey your
intreaty: I yield to your command: for I had rather trust in my own
matters to you than to myself, especially as the love of Jesus Christ
my Lord commands me this as well as you, for He Himself gives me this
charge in your person. For in this matter you are more concerned than I
am, as your judgment stands in peril rather than my duty. For in my
case, whether I prove equal to what you have commanded me or no, the
very fact of my obedience and humility will be in some degree an excuse
for me; if indeed I might not urge that there is more value in my
obedience, if there is less that I can do. For we easily comply with
any one’s orders, out of our abundance: but his is a great and
wonderful work, whose desires exceed his powers. Yours then is this
work and business, and yours it is to be ashamed of it. Pray and
intreat that your choice may not be discredited by my clumsiness; and
that, supposing we do not answer the expectations which you have formed
of us, you may not seem to have been wrong in commanding out of an
ill-considered determination, while I was right in yielding, owing to
the claims of obedience.
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