5. Also the question is wont
to be asked, when a male and female, neither the one the husband,
nor the other the wife, of any other, come together, not for the
begetting of children, but, by reason of incontinence, for the mere
sexual intercourse, there being between them this faith, that
neither he do it with any other woman, nor she with any other man,
whether it is to be called marriage.19441944 And perhaps this may, not without
reason, be called marriage,19451945 if it shall be the resolution19461946 of both
parties until the death of one, and if the begetting of children,
although they came not together for that cause, yet they shun not,
so as either to be unwilling to have children born to them, or even
by some evil work to use means that they be not born. But, if
either both, or one, of these be wanting, I find not how we can
call it marriage. For, if a man should take unto him any one for a
time, until he find another worthy either of his honors or of his
means, to marry as his compeer; in his soul itself he is an
adulterer, and that not with her whom he is desirous of finding,
but with her, with whom he so lies, as not to have with her the
partnership of a husband. Whence she also herself, knowing and
willing this, certainly acts unchastely in having intercourse with
him, with whom she has not the compact of a wife. However, if she
keep to him faith of bed, and after he shall have married, have no
thought of marriage herself, and prepare to contain herself
altogether from any such work, perhaps I should not dare lightly to
call her an adulteress; but who shall say that she sins not, when
he is aware that she has intercourse with a man, not being his
wife? But further, if from that intercourse, so far as pertains to
herself, she has no wish but for sons, and suffers unwilling
whatever she suffers beyond the cause of begetting; there are many
matrons to whom she is to be preferred; who, although they are not
adulteresses, yet force their husbands, for the most part also
wishing to exercise continence, to pay the due of the flesh, not
through desire of children, but through glow of lust making an
intemperate use of their very right; in whose marriages, however,
this very thing, that they are married, is a good. For for this
purpose are they married, that the lust being brought under a
lawful bond, should not float at large without form and loose;
having of itself weakness of flesh that cannot be curbed, but of
marriage fellowship of faith that cannot be dissolved; of itself
encroachment of immoderate intercourse, of marriage a way of
chastely begetting. For, although it be shameful to wish to use a
husband for purposes of lust, yet it is honorable to be unwilling
to have intercourse save with an husband, and not to give birth to
children save from a husband. There are also men incontinent to
that degree, that they spare not their wives even when pregnant.
Therefore whatever that is immodest, shameless, base, married
persons do one with another, is the sin of the persons, not the
fault of marriage.