21. Seek Thy Servant

A SEARCHLIGHT projected from a tower over city and plain is a striking image of the flashing out of the All-seeing Eye.

Amidst shades and darkness with the velocity of the twinkling of an eye, a ray of clear white soft light darts out from a single point as its source, spreads itself over an ever increasing surface of country below, and immediately every object and form in the track of that light stands out in sharp outline. Nothing remains hidden.

So from the All-seeing Eye above, heart and soul-searching light beams forth, laying bare the deepest folds of the conscience.

It is not this seeking and searching, however, which the Psalmist refers to when he prays (Psalm 119:176): "Seek Thy servant." Scripture here employs the figure of the shepherd who is out on the hills seeking the lamb that wandered off from the flock and is lost. The Psalmist himself tells the story: "I have gone astray like a sheep that is lost; seek Thy servant; for I do not forget Thy commandments."

This figure from country life stands far higher than that of the searchlight.

Here is love, the yearning to possess again what was lost; and then the inability to let go what belongs to the flock; the motive of the search, or, if you will, the stirring, impelling passion of the heart.

Here also is reciprocity. The lost sheep bleats helplessly for the shepherd the while the shepherd scans the moun tain side to find it.

The lost sheep wants to be found, and the shepherd wants to find it. The bleating is the call: "Seek me, O shepherd!" and by bleating, the sheep itself co-operates in the finding.

So here we have the beseeching cry of the soul: "Seek Thy servant;" the prayer to be found, and at the same time an outpouring of soul, which itself makes the finding possible.

He who prays like this is not the child of the world, not the man who, far distant from God, is engrossed in the pursuit of worldly wealth, or who in his heart worships himself as his idol.

There is no reference here to the unconverted. He who here prays knows that he is God's servant, that he has entered upon the service of the Almighty; that he has been with God, from Whom now he has wandered away. This is clearly expressed in the image of the shepherd with the lamb. He who has wandered away from the flock has been with it; he who calls for the shepherd has known him.

"Seek Thy servant!" is the direct cry of God's child that has known his heavenly Father in His love and for want of this love feels himself lonesome and sick at heart., and longs for the tender enjoyment which it has tasted in the nearness of God.

Hence do not misunderstand the mystical sense of this cry of distress. It is not a call for conversion, but for return. He who is not converted can not pray like this. He who so calls, fell away from a love that was once known, and with all the tender yearnings of that lost love he longs that he might have it back.

This is a frequent occurrence.

One had entered in through the narrow gate; he had seen his path sown with higher light; the sense of new life had thrilled the heart; powers of the kingdom coursed through the arteries of the soul; he knew that he was alive, for the cup of reconciliation, full to the brim, had been handed him; he rejoiced in God his Savior; blessedly within him unfolded the intimate fellowship-life with God in Christ.

But it did not last. Fogs rose across the inner sky. From walking in the way he began to wander in by-paths, and presently lost it. Things began to be uncertain, and the heart restless and comfortless. Influences from beneath repressed holy influences from above.

How far God seemed to be distant again! how weakened the tie of faith in Christ which was once so firmly strung.

So it was all dark again for the soul, a feeling of loneliness and of being forsaken took possession of the heart, until it could endure it no longer, and yearning again after God, it set itself assiduously to the task of seeking after God.

This seeking, however, did not bring the finding. No sign marked the way. Going now in this direction and now in that, he remained equally far away from God, or wandered off still farther.

No, it has not been put in your power when once you have tasted God's love, to make light of it; first to win it, then to let it go, and then to take it again.

He who has known God and has forsaken Him, does not of himself find Him again.

So you learn to understand your utter impotence. Of yourself you can do nothing. But this you know, you can not do without God. The absence of His love creates an aching void in your soul.

Until at length it is realized: "I can not seek my God again, but He can again seek me."

And then comes the anxious bleating of the stray sheep, the call from the depth of the soul to the God that has been lost.

The suppliant cry: "O God, seek Thy servant!"

This deep longing to find God again can sometimes take a wonderful hold upon a man's heart.

There are those who in childhood were graciously permitted to enjoy the love of God, even though they were then but partly conscious of the fact; they were regenerated but conscious faith never reached the fuller knowledge of His Name.

This obtained the unusual condition of soul that, though God operated in it by His power, yet doubt entered the mind and the heart.

You know certain people who have not as yet been able to grasp the faith, but whose noble qualities of mind and heart render them peculiarly interesting and refreshing; frequently they are far more attractive to you than many a confessed believer. They are as flowers in the bud that can not come to bloom, but this half open bud exhales exquisite fragrance.

They are souls that are inwardly consumed with longing after God, and do not understand the nature of their longing. They are not aware that already they belong to God, they are only deeply conscious of nameless drawings after Him.

They do not pray themselves, but others who can pray, pray for them: "Lord seek this Thy servant - this Thy handmaid - for every utterance of their lives indicates that they rightfully have a place in the ranks of Thy servants and handmaidens."

They are children of the family who have not yet discovered their Father.

And such prayer is heard; not prayer from the lips, but from the soul, in behalf of ourselves and of those whom God has laid upon our heart.

Then God seeks them, and finds them, and lets Himself be found of them.

How this proceeds no one can tell. To bring it about, God employs a man's natural lot in life. He uses a written thought which He makes us read. He works this by means of affliction that heavily burdens the heart, hard and perilous times which try us to the utmost, contact with different people who meet us by the way, impressions of angels which He makes to hover round about us, inworkings which He causes to operate immediately upon our heart. It is the embroidering of God upon our soul of an holy work of art in all sorts of colors and in all sorts of designs.

But however different and inscrutable these operations may be, the outcome is assured. God seeks us, and finds us, till at length we discover that we have been found, and the nearness of God is enjoyed vitally, strongly and sweetly again in our heart.

Only, in this seeking of God, do not hinder the finding. Not merely doubt, but the very inclination that prefers doubt is sin against God's love.

When God seeks you and places His hand upon your shoulder do not draw back, but fall to your knees, offer thanks and adore.