17. Thou Settest A Print Upon The Heels Of My Feet

IT always affects us like a discordant note when in Psalm 39 we read those grievous words of David: "O God, turn away from me, that I may refresh myself !"

Is there a more unnatural cry conceivable?

Man and God constitute the deepest contrast, and all true religion, springing from our creation after God's Image aims solely to put man into closest cornmunion with his God, and where this is broken to restore it. And here the Psalmist, who still counts as the singer who has interpreted the religious life most profoundly, prays and cries, not for the approach of God; but that God will go away from him, leave him to himself, give him rest, and thereby refresh the closing hours of his life: " Hear my prayer, O Lord, hold not thy peace at my tears, turn away from me, that I may be refreshed, before I go hence, and be no more seen."

In Psalm 42 he says: "As the heart desireth the waterbrooks: so longeth my soul after thee, O God," and here the very opposite: "Turn thee away from me, that my soul may refresh itself."

On one hand, deepest longing for the joy of the presence of God, on the other, the agonizing cry for deliverance from God's presence. Confess, does it not seem at first hearing as though the one literally contradicts the other?

And yet this bitter wail of David does not stand by itself alone. In Job you find an expression, that is even still more painful, of this crushing consciousness of the presence of the Lord, when in order to pour out his consuming anguish in fullest measure, he despairingly exclaims: "Thou puttest my feet in the stocks and thou settest a print of thyself upon the heels of my feet" (Job 13:27).

By itself there is nothing strange in this. The ungodly, too, are familiar with this agonizing dread. When unprepared, suddenly a mortal danger overtakes them, they handle, as it were, with their hands the power of God that forces itself upon them. In case of shipwreck out at sea it is seen over and over again that godless scorners, who but a few moments before over their wine-cups were making light of everything that is holy, suddenly stricken with terror spring from their seats with the cry . . "O God, O God!" and pale with fear struggle for their lives.

And aside from these, with people who do not make a mockery of religion but in reality live without God - when serious sickness comes upon them or disaster overtakes them we see the same effect; to wit: that they also at such a time become suddenly aware that they have to do with the dreadful unknown power of that God Whom they have long ignored, and they tremble in their heart.

In ordinary circumstances we are sufficient unto ourselves. We extricate ourselves from trifling difficulties. We know how to rise above reverses of lesser magnitudes, and when they are overcome, the triumph heightens the sense of our self-sufficiency.

In such circumstances we feel free, unconstrained and unencumbered; we are our own lord and master. We are conscious of a lesser power that opposes us, but we push it aside and bravely continue the tenor of our way.

But all this becomes different when anxieties, dangers and disasters come upon us that overwhelm us, which we can not face, which nothing can avert, and which render us painfully conscious of our helplessness.

Then we feel thatwe are attacked by a higher power, that casts us down and makes all resistance futile and absurd.

This power places itself before us as an unseen and unknown opponent, who in a mysterious way cuts the tendon of our strength, binds us as with bands of death, mortally distresses and perplexes us, and leaves us nothing but a shriek of terror.

And however much the world has become estranged. from God, at such times there is even in the most hardened heart still some tremor in the face.of the Majesty of God. They have no faith in Him, but an anxious feeling steals upon them that now they must deal with Him, and the reproach that increases their terror is that they have so long ignored Him.

But this sense of dread most strongly affects the godly man in the moment that his faith fails him and God loosens His hold of the soul.

Then it seems not only that God abandons the soul but at the same time tightens His grip upon the body.

A man such as Job could not imagine anything that did not come to him from God. He had partaken of peace as from a cup handed him by God. And now that the evil day had come, and calamity upon calamity struck him, he could not explain it otherwise than that each of these disasters was a new arrow from the bow of Divine displeasure, aimed to strike and mortally wound him.

But just because Job was genuinely pious, this could not be the end.. While at first he had the impression that God in anger stood afar off and with arrow upon arrow wounded him from a distance, he now sees God coming nearer to him, and at length, as with the hand of His Almightiness lay hold of him.

And at the moment when he feels that God has approached him in anger, as man against man laid hold on him, and is ready to throw him, his fear assumes a yet more striking character.

A tyrant who attacked Job and overcame him might at most put his feet in stocks and thereby render him powerless, but now that God does this it can not be all.

Now he perceives something that makes it seem as though God not merely stands before him and attacks him from without, but as though with His Almighty Power God enters into his very being, goes through him altogether and causes him to become rigid, so that at length he feels himself penetrated to the very heels of his feet by the Almighty One and crushed by the anger of the Lord.

Such mortal agony as this can only overtake the saint. God in his anger is only felt like this by him who all his life most deeply realized the power of his God.

Thus there is a twofold perception of God's august presence: at one time in the blessed fellowship which the soul enjoys with God, and at another time in the awful consciousness of God's dreadful presence in the fears that assail us.

If now we were dealt with according to our sins and according to our deserts, this latter fellowship exclusively would be our portion, even the fellowship with the Holy One in his Divine displeasure.

Thus it will be forever in hell.

This is hell.

Here on earth diversion, pleasure, all sorts of means are at hand to put the thought of God far from us, and in addition to this, the godless here enjoy the terrible privilege, that they can sin, excepting at rare moments, without being troubled in their conscience by the presence of God Almighty. While here on earth they can put a screen between themselves and God and thus be far distant from Him.

But in eternity this is not possible. There they stand from moment to moment in the presence of their God. And this awful consciousness of the presence of their God will be "the worm that dieth not, and the fire that is not quenched."

It is different with those who already here on earth have known God in His peace. They have received grace. In their behalf, God withdraws Himself in such a way that He covers His displeasure, veils His terrible Majesty, and, in spite of their sins, makes converse and communion with Himself possible without mortal fears.

Then between God and the creature there does not stand the screen of worldly vanities, but Christ, the Reconciler, the Redeemer, the Mediator of God and man. Hence already here on earth blessed and sweet communion with God can be enjoyed in Christ.

But if for one moment faith fails you, the shield of Christ is removed, and you feel yourself suddenly face to face again with the naked Majesty of God in His anger, and then the agony of soul in God's otherwise devoted children is more awful than the children of this world ever experience on earth.

Then for a moment the child of God is caught as in the snares of hell.

Such was the case with Job.

That was when he exclaimed: "O my God, thou brandest thyself in the heels of my feet. "

That was when David prayed: "O my God, turn thee away from me, that I may refresh myself before I die."

And herein is grace, that at such moments the Comforter comes to our soul, that again the shield of Christ is put before us and God, Who made His anger flash for us, again reveals Himself to His tempest-tossed child as Abba, Father.