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RESOLUTION II.

I am resolved by the grace of God to slop every thought, at its first entering into my heart, and to examine it whence it comes, and whither it tends.

So soon as ever any new thought begins to bubble in my soul, I am resolved to examine what stamp it is of, whether it springs from the pure fountain of living waters, or the polluted streams of my own affections; as also, which way it tends, or takes its course, towards the ocean of happiness, or pit of destruction. And the reason of this my resolution, I draw from the experience I have had of the devil’s temptations, and the working of my own corruptions; by which I find that there is no sin I am betrayed into, but what takes its rise from my inward thoughts. These are the tempters that first present some pleasing object to my view, and then bias my understanding, and prevent my will, to comply with the suggestion. So that, though the Spirit of God is pleased to dart a beam into my heart at the same time, and show me the odious and dangerous effects of such thoughts; yet I know not how or why, I find a prevailing suggestion 130within, that tells me, it is but a thought, and that so long as it goes no further, it cannot do me much hurt. Under this specious colour and pretence, I secretly persuade myself to dwell a little longer upon it; and finding my heart pleased and delighted with its natural issue, I give it a little further indulgence, till at last my desire breaks out into a flame, and will be satisfied with nothing less than the enjoyment of the object it is exercised upon. And what water can quench such a raging fire, as is thus kindled by the devil, and blown up by the bellows of my own inordinate affections, which the more I think of, the more I increase the flame? How nearly therefore does it concern me to take up this resolution, of setting a constant watch and guard at the door of my heart, that nothing may enter in, without a strict examination? Not as if I could examine every particular thought that arises in my heart, for by that means I could do nothing else but examine my thoughts without intermission. But this I must do: whensoever I find any thought that bears the face or appearance of sin, I must throw it aside with the utmost abhorrence; and when it comes in disguise, as the devil under Samuel’s mantle, or when it is a thought I never conceived before, and know not but it may be bad, as well as good; then, before I suffer it to settle upon my spirits, I must examine as well as I can, whether it be sent from heaven or hell, and what message it comes about, and what will be the issue of it. And thus by the divine assistance, I shall let nothing into my heart, but what will bring me nearer to my God, and set me at a greater distance from the evil and punishment 131of sin. Neither do I think it my duty only to be so watchful against such thoughts as are in themselves sinful; but,

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